Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Can you get arrested for a pre-meditated wreck?

Ok, so here's the deal. I've had enough. I've decided that I'm gonna do what I've been saying for year's I'm gonna do. It's time I take action into my own hands.

I came to this realization on my way home from the grocery store this evening. I was minding my own business, driving slightly over the speed limit when a car crossed two lanes of traffic, "like totally paused" in the median, and pulled out in front of my vehicle with less than 20 feet between my 55 mile per hour moving Jeep and the side of his vehicle. In order to avoid an expensive end to his poor judgment call, I swirved my SUV into the adjacent lane (the EMPTY lane, mind you), and laid on the horn for good measure. After saying several explitives and cutting him off (one good deed deserves another, right?), I made the decision that I was going to take action into my hands.

So, here's the plan. I'm going to by an old car, something unimpressive, with a really shitty body, but that's built like a tank. I'm going to have Ben fashion a full restraint in the car, a neck support, and I'm going to buy a helmet. Then, I'm gonna set out on the road. I will drive normal, safe, and with a sensible mind. However, if somebody decides to act like the fool ealier tonight, I will not swirve. I will not move. I will plow into their precious car at full speed, without breaking, to help make them realize how absolutely stupid, inconsiderate, and dangerous they are. The best part - I lose nothing. I am the one protected, with the crappy tank of a car, that can handle the damage. Them....probably not so much.

So, here's my only thought....can I get in trouble or arrested for pre-meditation? I mean, if I have the helmet, the restraint, all the protection I need, and I don't even try to brake, despite the fact that it's their fault, can I get in trouble?

Sounds great, right? Maybe I'll start a new business. Anyone interested?

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