My imptetuous ramblings have been slim to none recently, and I thought it was time for an update on where I've been.
I wish I could say that my lack of writing has been for all positive things, but that would not be accurate...I've had both good and bad happen recently, and my mind has run a million miles a minute, leaving no time to type out my ramblings.
Where do I begin?
Work has been stressful recently, and extraneous circumstances have caused me to again question my happiness in what I am doing and my diligence with this job. Decisions on a high level seem to be coming full circle, and I often find myself reviewing the last year of my career and wondering how it is that I feel like I have come a long way, and yet the vision we are all working towards is ever changing. I constantly feel as though I am trying to reinvent myself, and get derailed by yet another seemingly senseless decision by individuals not actively in the field. I will not air our dirtly laundry here....I respect the vision, I support the vision, I believe in the vision....what I don't believe in, what I don't have faith in is truly neither here nor there. However, it has certainly given me clarity as to what I want my future to hold, and what I feel is important to me. The words integrity, happiness, and respect have never felt so valuable to me as they do now.
On the flip side, I have grown tremendously, and do believe that if I put my heart and soul behind anything, I can do it. I always believed this, but sometimes get derailed and have to be reminded. I am now reminded and do not feel tasked or challenged the way I did in the past....is that an inkling that I may be ready to move on to a new role soon? Who knows....I do like the money, I do like the freedom, but I do like a challenge. And there's a big difference between a challenge and stress....
Okay, I didn't come on this to complain about work. I am honestly happy, overall, and have some negative days but am trying to keep a positive outlook. I have been slighted recently, in a pretty major way, but they are currently making attempts to redeem themselves, and therefore, I will not put all the dirty laundry out there to be read by the world. I will store this for a time of rejoice or disappointment. Cross your fingers and hope for rejoice!
Ben has struggled recently with some health challenges. A fairly simple infection turned serious when it spread in his face, and landed him in the Emergency Room. A stressful week turned into another stressful week, followed by an appointment with our family doctor, only to find out that the bacterial infection he was dealing with was seriously life threatening, and he should have been hospitalized or under fairly constant doctor supervision. Neither of these happened, and while I do not dwell on the past, and he seems to be ahead of it, it is scary to think that things could have gone very, very wrong.
While at the doctor's office, Ben made mention of a bump on the base of his left middle finger. The doctor felt it, said it's a benign cyst on the tendon (I guess that's similiar to a tumor) and that it must be removed as a small but decent percentage can be cancerous. Not really what we want to here when he was just told minutes before that many people have died recently from the bacterial infection that he had. I'm confident all will be fine, but Ben has always been the rock, and the healthy one, and this caught all of us by surprise.
Life has been crazy in general, between traveling and friends, events, and weddings, neighborhood shenanigans, and the like. Some days I want to crawl under my blanket and not see the light of day. Oh, do I yearn for one night of sleep that is uninterupted by the sounds of dog barks, me being crowded out of bed by 12 little doggie paws, or the light of morning. Neither Ben nor I have been sleeping well.
Porkchops allergies are back, and she's chewing a lot. It's not too bad, but she ends up itching a lot at night, which is another thing that wakes me up when her mad scratching starts as 3am. I kick her out of bed, which makes me feel back since she's obviously uncomfortable, but at 3am, she's lucky I don't put her outside. I'm not pleasant when awoken at ungodly hours of the night.
Ok, it is 11pm and the incessant yawning makes it clear that it is well past my bedtime. I'm hooked on Ghost Hunter's....what can I say?
