And life seems to go full circle...

Life is a facinating thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. In a recent turn of events, I have reconnected today with a friend I thought was long since lost. I am impressed by MySpace's ability to reconnect those that otherwise may have never crossed paths again, and in reviewing the reconnections I have made, I began to contemplate my life.

About a year ago, my neighbor was over at my house, and we were discussing life and relationships. I mentioned the path that my life took to get me to where I am today, and she told me something that I will forever hold to be among the most valuable things someone has shared with me - "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." Such simple words made such a significant impact on my life. After hearing that, I spent the next couple of days, maybe even a week, looking back over those that played a significant role in my life - both good and bad. I thought of those that I had been sad to see go, those that I had fought to keep, and those that I had been trying to get rid of for a long time. I reviewed the purpose that each had for my life, and determined which they seemed to be - a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Those that were hardest to let go of, but also seemed impossible to get back, I realized were not a lifelong friend - but that their significance in my life meant that they were brought into it, even if for a short time, for some sort of purpose. Looking back on the stages that I was in during these encounters, it is interesting that I can not remember the perils of my life at those points, but what stands out is the significant role that each of these people played during those perils. While they may not be a part of my life anymore, those moments, no matter how short or how long, have touched my life in ways that they may never know and for that I am grateful.

Thinking back over the course of the past few years, I have also thought of the paths that my life has taken. While my feelings over trials and tribulations that I experience may have left a bitter taste in my mouth, I also understand that those experiences were necessary - not only for the sheer lesson I may have learned, but also for those that needed to come into my life - whether it be for that reason, season, or to become a part of my lifetime.

For example, despite the negative turn of events that caused me to end my career at Wet 'n Wild, if it wasn't for the three years I spent there, I would not have made the connections and friendships that I have over the years.

Exhibit A: Melissa. Melissa and I met in college, in Dr. Lewis's history class. I sat near her on my first day of class. We chatted a bit, but what broke the ice? The fact that both of us had/did work for Wet 'n Wild, and knew the same people. We chatted for a long time about the place, and began a friendship that has transcended through so many things.

Exhibit B: Ben. Had I not have been employed by the water park, and had I not have handled the printing for the company, I likely would not have gotten to know Ben. If it wasn't for that responsibility being placed on my shoulders, things may have ended up differently today. But instead, the course that my life took, led me to my husband, and for that, I can not be upset.

Exhibit C: Ian. For what began as a silly acquantienceship, it turned into a sincere friendship, one of which I am grateful for. Had I not have been forced to work late hours, and go to the dingy, dirty warehouse, we may have never connected. Had the other coordinator not quit that summer that I worked 7 days a week, every week, I may not have worked the night shifts that allowed us the time to get to know each other.

The list could go on and on. I have made more valuable friendships from my few years within that place that I have made in my entire childhood. I have a stronger, better connection with those that have crossed my path, if even for the shortest time, than those that have known me since my youngest years.

Now, here's what befuddles me - what role does MySpace play in all this? If people are to come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime, how does that all change now that the internet, and things such as MySpace, have come into play? Do reasons and seasons cease to exist? Will all friendships become lifelong? Or will this all fade like every other fad, and we will continue to fade in and out of each other's lives, in a similar fashion to before?

I believe that all things in life happen for a reason. And while often, things happen that are not among those that we are looking for, or even want, they are still significant in our lives. So, as I face the challenges and perils that life throws my way, I can't help but look at them and wonder - what is this all for? How does this effect my future? Does this hold any significance to the past? Who am I a reason to? A season? A lifetime?

"To every season, turn, turn, turn. There is a reason, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose, under heaven."

So I saw a turkey running down the sidewalk of my neighborhood today...

Does anyone else find it odd that I saw a turkey meadering down the sidewalk of my neighborhood this afternoon? I don't live in a rural area, and was travelling a highly populated street. Yet the turkey was just waddling along, like nothing was strange. Is is strange, though, isn't it? Is that some sort of sign of the times?

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em....

...........Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table

There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done.

Work sucks. There's no way around that. I enjoy working with Disney and am not stressed at all by the transition. At moments, it can be overwhelming, as it is very fast paced, but nonetheless, it is nothing I can't handle. However, my manager is severly trying my patience, and I am working as hard as possible to be patient with him. He's hyperactive, negative, and a total micro-manager. But I will survive.

I have decided that I can seriously hold the better cards in this situation, and am picking my battles carefully. I want to have the upperhand, in case shit hits the fan....as I fear (or don't fear) that it will.

I'm still holding out for this promotion, and am optimistic about it, but am trying to be realistic all the while. So, we'll see where this might head....

The Self Assessment

I took my first step towards apply for the promotional opportunity today. I had to take a self-assessment....what a foreign thing to do. Have you ever had to take one of these tests? Here I am, sitting here in front of something that seems so simple, yet holds such a significant thing in the balance...

The questions are things like: "Out of the following words, which one best describes yourself", "Are you a self motivator?", "Do you like doing A) one task at a time, B) two or three tasks at a time or C) several tasks at a time." And the kicker, "Of all the things our there to do, is sales what you would prefer to do above all other things." Dude, I could barely understand that last question, let alone answer it to the best of my ability.

So,here I am self analyzing myself as I'm trying to determine what the best answer to these questions will be. And here's what's going through my head:

1) What would make them want to hire me?

2) If I choose the answer that I think would make them want to hire me, am I actually self-assessing myself?

3) If I choose the answer that I think would make them want me, and that's the wrong answer, would I have had the right answer if I answered the question the way I best fit the answer?

4) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Just Kidding)

5) What if I answer all the questions right, and decide that I don't want to be in sales? Am I passing up my calling?

6) Am I doing this for the right reasons?

7) What if I'm not meant for this job? What do I do next?

Something as dumb as a self-assessment actually stressed me out a little bit. Not in the "Agh! I'm freaking out way" but in the "too much to think about" way.

Here's what I'm thinking- if I get turned down for the job because my answers to the self assessment test did not match the answers that my potential supervisor wants to see, and I get passed up for this promotion, I'm going to feel disappointed that my personality wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for them because a test told them so. That sucks. However, if I go get the job, and I'm not happy because it's not a good fit for me, I'm going to be surprised that the self assessment test didn't weed me out. Dumb huh?

What does this damn test show anyway? Nothing. That I know how to press buttons? What good does that do me?

By the way, I filled it out for what fit me. So, in some of the questions, where I'm pretty sure I could have stretched the truth and said, "no, I don't feel like I need training to be 100% successful in this position" I told them that I was uncertain as to whether or not I needed the training. I figure let's be realistic here - no matter how great of a salesperson you are (or are not) you can always use training on how to make yourself better. As a kindred spirit shared with me today, I looked at it this way - "Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire." Yates was a brilliant man....

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I think I would have felt better if there was some sort of measurement that I could compare myself to, or a grade at the end. Not some ambiguous idea of right and wrong followed by a maybe interview and a possibility of an offer letter sent to me.

Agh! I thought I was done with tests after college!

Ink it up, Ink it up!!

I got a new tattoo! I got a new tattoo!

So, in honor of my college graduation, I had planned on getting the tattoo of the lady bugs walking up my foot. However, it dawned on me that it was a sensitive place to heal, and that I would need time without a "real" shoe on. So, it's been put on hold, waiting for a long weekend or some time off.

Low and behold, it dawned on me last night that it is 4th of July weekend, and I have a long weekend. So, today, I sat in the chair for over two hours getting ink done.

The work on my foot took about a half hour, but while at the parlor, I had the artist touch up the sting ray on my back. The foot wasn't bad - I thought it would be rough, but there was actually only one tender spot (and boy was it tender!!!!) but my back hurt like a bitch! The first time I got it done, it wasn't as bad, but this time, because I had a bit of scar tissue from the work done before (not visible to the eye, but reactive to the ink), I thought I was going to pass out. Honestly, as one point, I started seeing dots and white halos, because the pain was so strong. Holy crap.... The artist was great though and was patient and understanding. He kept apologizing for how painful it was, but explained about the scar tissue. He was as gentle as possible and was really quite good with me.

Anyway, I digress....I wanted to get this particular tattoo to symbolize a good luck charm for my future. Since I lost my position within the company on Monday (not my job, just my position - see previous post) and my future is a bit less clear to me, I felt that there was no time like the present!

I love it!!!!!! It's beautiful and perfect and everything I had hoped for!

I've taken a couple pictures, but it's really fresh (only a couple of hours old) and quite puffy, so I'll post them when they look better. But trust me, they're awesome!!