Wow...

Lots has been going on with me the past few weeks, but something happened today that had a much larger impact on me and my life than anything else. I learned something today....and I want to share it with the world.

I learned selflessness. I learned humbleness. I learned the meaning of true, unconditional love. I am married to the most amazing man. This I knew...believe me, he's been wonderful. But, today, I learned how lucky I truly am to have someone as amazing as him in my life.

Sometimes I'm not nice to him. Sometimes I'm a downright bitch to him. Honestly, I think I make a pretty shitty wife. And overall, I often wonder why the hell he stays with me. But I've known all along that he loves me, truly and deeply. And today, I finally recongized it. I saw it. I felt it. And it moved me to tears.

I will keep the details to myself, as they are a part of my private life that I choose not to share right now, but they involve medical procedures and my self esteem. Due to circumstances that I do not want to currently discuss, my hopes of getting this procedure done were squashed. This is something I've wanted all my life, and while I have not talked about it that much prior to the potential of this happening, it became very apparent to him how important this was to me.

I never would have expected anyone to act as selflessly as he did. When my hopes of affording this were dashed, he has decided to use money from his retirement to make me happy. This is no small change...this is thousands and thousands of dollars. He is giving this to me as my Christmas present. I'm amazed and astounded and I can't stop getting choked up. This is so much more than a Christmas present. This is an expression of his love and devotion for me, and his desire to make me happy, regardless of the cost or importance to him.

I learned what love was today. My heart swells with how lucky I am to have someone so amazing in my life. He is the other half of me....the half that I want to become.

I love you, Benji. I love you for who you are and what you are and everything about you. You are my best friend, my love, my heart, my soul, my everything. Thank you for loving me. I hope I can show that love to you and then some. I'm a lucky woman.

P.S. - He's so amazing. He just brought me dinner without me asking. And he stitched up our dog, and didn't yell at me when I did something stupid. I'm a lucky woman.