I received a call today...a call that for years would be the one that would change my life. The one that would give me clarity and peace, sadness and joy, a sense of completion and justice. It happened. It's over.
I don't know what to think, I don't know what to feel. I am numb, feeling nothing and everything at the same time. I feel a sense of peace, I feel a sense of happiness, I feel a sense of sadness. Why is it that death, the loss of someone, causes the emotions? And what emotions are you supposed to feel when you don't care that the death has happened? When the person that has died has done something horrible to you, and you can't make yourself be sad. I want to be sad. I want to not be the same person that he was, the one who felt no remorse when he did unforgivable acts he did. I want to forgive. I want to forget. But how do you?
I'm watching Crash. Such a beautiful movie about people, about human nature. I watch this, and I hear these words...the poignant words that are so significant right now.
Officer Ryan: You think you know who you are?
[Officer Hanson nods]
Officer Ryan: You have no idea.
Ria: I think we spun around twice, and somewhere in there one of us lost our frame of reference.
Ria: And I'm gonna go look for it...
Christine: I just couldn't stand to see that man take away your dignity.
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