The pain in my head, oh I'd rather be dead...

Icky, Icky, Poo, Poo. That's the way my day has been.

First off, I have a very bad headache. No, I wouldn't rather be dead...that's a line from a Boyz II Men song. Remember then...yeah, I'm that old. My headache stems from my eyes, which are hurting due to pink eye. Pink eye, you say? Yes, pink eye. Some asshole at work's kids are disease carrying rodents, and I have ended up with pink eye. My eyes are icky and mucusy (gross right) and are a strain on my contacts. So, by the end of the day, I have earned one serious headache.

On top of that, my day started out as serious crap. The pre-madonna I work with was being a total wanker, despite the fact that she has no jurisdiction over my job or schedule anymore. Oh, wait...she never did. Let me explain...

Today was my first day in my new role....or it should have been. I offically started getting paid by the sales department today, and should have begun my transitioning into the new role. But, my manager does not want to release me yet, so that I can assist my replacement with the Disney job. However, he does not want me to assist her, but instead be there in case she has any questions. Isn't that what the phone is for?

So, I was supposed to be home today to receive a FedEx package outlining all my responsibilities over the next six weeks, in regards to training, transitioning, preparing etc. But my manager, who wants me there for questions, did not want me to wait until the FedEx driver to arrive with my package. Instead, he told me on Friday to be in at 9am (my usual time), since we were unsure when the package would arrive.

Shortly after I arrived this morning, however, my manager asked if I had received my package. When I told him no, he asked me why I came in. My response, "you told me to." He insists on Friday that he told me to wait until after the priority deliver hours, meaning come in after 10:30am. Rrrrrrr.....

So, here I am, unprepared for a sales call that I am going to have within about an hour of that interaction, all due to my manager's (wait, ex-manager's) lack of communication to me. Strike 1.

So, I ask him what he wants me to do. He gives me a task and I step into it straight away. To get out of the always crowded office I share(d) with another co-worker and the countdown room, I moved into the ever roomy Assistant Manager pre-madonna's room. Now, mind you, this lady's on a power trip. She's always bossing people around, and feels the need to talk down to people. So, I tell her I'm going to join her in the office, but that I will leave her be.

She then spends the next 20 minutes chastising me for my replacement and I getting over time last week (4 hours each, lad-dee-da....), when the manager was well aware LAST WEEK that we would each be getting overtime, and everyone is aware that we are in the busiest month for WDW and we've just hit the peak of it. However, she wondered why it took two of us the extra hours to get it done. I tried to defend myself...and did for a while, but finally kept my mouth shut. It wasn't worth it. But what was her solution: since I am now salaried, she has decided (not that it's her decision) that I will be staying the extra hours through the rest of the week so that the hourly person now assigned to that job will not end up in overtime. I told her I no longer work for them, and that I was there doing her a favor. She told me not to give her any of that "it's not my job crap." I restrained.... Strike 2.

Strike 3 came later in the afternoon when the same pre-madonna on her high horse reiterated to me that her expectation was for me to stay the extra hours that I was not getting paid for, so that my replacement would not incur overtime on the center's dime. So she expects me to do her team members job, and not my own, to save her payroll (oh, wait...it's not even hers). I finally had it and put her in her place. I told her that I was not willing to stay the extra hours, as I was here to answer questions, and questions only for my replacement. Once she left, I left. I was not staying. Pre-madonna immediately backed down and stuck her tail between her legs. Homerun!!!!!!!!

Now, I'm left with a headache and itchy eyes. I can't wear my contacts, and am straining through my glasses, which is not helping the headache. I am tired, cranky, and frustrated.

Sigh.....uh, oh...looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!

And life seems to go full circle...

Life is a facinating thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. In a recent turn of events, I have reconnected today with a friend I thought was long since lost. I am impressed by MySpace's ability to reconnect those that otherwise may have never crossed paths again, and in reviewing the reconnections I have made, I began to contemplate my life.

About a year ago, my neighbor was over at my house, and we were discussing life and relationships. I mentioned the path that my life took to get me to where I am today, and she told me something that I will forever hold to be among the most valuable things someone has shared with me - "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." Such simple words made such a significant impact on my life. After hearing that, I spent the next couple of days, maybe even a week, looking back over those that played a significant role in my life - both good and bad. I thought of those that I had been sad to see go, those that I had fought to keep, and those that I had been trying to get rid of for a long time. I reviewed the purpose that each had for my life, and determined which they seemed to be - a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Those that were hardest to let go of, but also seemed impossible to get back, I realized were not a lifelong friend - but that their significance in my life meant that they were brought into it, even if for a short time, for some sort of purpose. Looking back on the stages that I was in during these encounters, it is interesting that I can not remember the perils of my life at those points, but what stands out is the significant role that each of these people played during those perils. While they may not be a part of my life anymore, those moments, no matter how short or how long, have touched my life in ways that they may never know and for that I am grateful.

Thinking back over the course of the past few years, I have also thought of the paths that my life has taken. While my feelings over trials and tribulations that I experience may have left a bitter taste in my mouth, I also understand that those experiences were necessary - not only for the sheer lesson I may have learned, but also for those that needed to come into my life - whether it be for that reason, season, or to become a part of my lifetime.

For example, despite the negative turn of events that caused me to end my career at Wet 'n Wild, if it wasn't for the three years I spent there, I would not have made the connections and friendships that I have over the years.

Exhibit A: Melissa. Melissa and I met in college, in Dr. Lewis's history class. I sat near her on my first day of class. We chatted a bit, but what broke the ice? The fact that both of us had/did work for Wet 'n Wild, and knew the same people. We chatted for a long time about the place, and began a friendship that has transcended through so many things.

Exhibit B: Ben. Had I not have been employed by the water park, and had I not have handled the printing for the company, I likely would not have gotten to know Ben. If it wasn't for that responsibility being placed on my shoulders, things may have ended up differently today. But instead, the course that my life took, led me to my husband, and for that, I can not be upset.

Exhibit C: Ian. For what began as a silly acquantienceship, it turned into a sincere friendship, one of which I am grateful for. Had I not have been forced to work late hours, and go to the dingy, dirty warehouse, we may have never connected. Had the other coordinator not quit that summer that I worked 7 days a week, every week, I may not have worked the night shifts that allowed us the time to get to know each other.

The list could go on and on. I have made more valuable friendships from my few years within that place that I have made in my entire childhood. I have a stronger, better connection with those that have crossed my path, if even for the shortest time, than those that have known me since my youngest years.

Now, here's what befuddles me - what role does MySpace play in all this? If people are to come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime, how does that all change now that the internet, and things such as MySpace, have come into play? Do reasons and seasons cease to exist? Will all friendships become lifelong? Or will this all fade like every other fad, and we will continue to fade in and out of each other's lives, in a similar fashion to before?

I believe that all things in life happen for a reason. And while often, things happen that are not among those that we are looking for, or even want, they are still significant in our lives. So, as I face the challenges and perils that life throws my way, I can't help but look at them and wonder - what is this all for? How does this effect my future? Does this hold any significance to the past? Who am I a reason to? A season? A lifetime?

"To every season, turn, turn, turn. There is a reason, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose, under heaven."

So I saw a turkey running down the sidewalk of my neighborhood today...

Does anyone else find it odd that I saw a turkey meadering down the sidewalk of my neighborhood this afternoon? I don't live in a rural area, and was travelling a highly populated street. Yet the turkey was just waddling along, like nothing was strange. Is is strange, though, isn't it? Is that some sort of sign of the times?

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em....

...........Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table

There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done.

Work sucks. There's no way around that. I enjoy working with Disney and am not stressed at all by the transition. At moments, it can be overwhelming, as it is very fast paced, but nonetheless, it is nothing I can't handle. However, my manager is severly trying my patience, and I am working as hard as possible to be patient with him. He's hyperactive, negative, and a total micro-manager. But I will survive.

I have decided that I can seriously hold the better cards in this situation, and am picking my battles carefully. I want to have the upperhand, in case shit hits the fan....as I fear (or don't fear) that it will.

I'm still holding out for this promotion, and am optimistic about it, but am trying to be realistic all the while. So, we'll see where this might head....

The Self Assessment

I took my first step towards apply for the promotional opportunity today. I had to take a self-assessment....what a foreign thing to do. Have you ever had to take one of these tests? Here I am, sitting here in front of something that seems so simple, yet holds such a significant thing in the balance...

The questions are things like: "Out of the following words, which one best describes yourself", "Are you a self motivator?", "Do you like doing A) one task at a time, B) two or three tasks at a time or C) several tasks at a time." And the kicker, "Of all the things our there to do, is sales what you would prefer to do above all other things." Dude, I could barely understand that last question, let alone answer it to the best of my ability.

So,here I am self analyzing myself as I'm trying to determine what the best answer to these questions will be. And here's what's going through my head:

1) What would make them want to hire me?

2) If I choose the answer that I think would make them want to hire me, am I actually self-assessing myself?

3) If I choose the answer that I think would make them want me, and that's the wrong answer, would I have had the right answer if I answered the question the way I best fit the answer?

4) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Just Kidding)

5) What if I answer all the questions right, and decide that I don't want to be in sales? Am I passing up my calling?

6) Am I doing this for the right reasons?

7) What if I'm not meant for this job? What do I do next?

Something as dumb as a self-assessment actually stressed me out a little bit. Not in the "Agh! I'm freaking out way" but in the "too much to think about" way.

Here's what I'm thinking- if I get turned down for the job because my answers to the self assessment test did not match the answers that my potential supervisor wants to see, and I get passed up for this promotion, I'm going to feel disappointed that my personality wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for them because a test told them so. That sucks. However, if I go get the job, and I'm not happy because it's not a good fit for me, I'm going to be surprised that the self assessment test didn't weed me out. Dumb huh?

What does this damn test show anyway? Nothing. That I know how to press buttons? What good does that do me?

By the way, I filled it out for what fit me. So, in some of the questions, where I'm pretty sure I could have stretched the truth and said, "no, I don't feel like I need training to be 100% successful in this position" I told them that I was uncertain as to whether or not I needed the training. I figure let's be realistic here - no matter how great of a salesperson you are (or are not) you can always use training on how to make yourself better. As a kindred spirit shared with me today, I looked at it this way - "Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire." Yates was a brilliant man....

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I think I would have felt better if there was some sort of measurement that I could compare myself to, or a grade at the end. Not some ambiguous idea of right and wrong followed by a maybe interview and a possibility of an offer letter sent to me.

Agh! I thought I was done with tests after college!

Ink it up, Ink it up!!

I got a new tattoo! I got a new tattoo!

So, in honor of my college graduation, I had planned on getting the tattoo of the lady bugs walking up my foot. However, it dawned on me that it was a sensitive place to heal, and that I would need time without a "real" shoe on. So, it's been put on hold, waiting for a long weekend or some time off.

Low and behold, it dawned on me last night that it is 4th of July weekend, and I have a long weekend. So, today, I sat in the chair for over two hours getting ink done.

The work on my foot took about a half hour, but while at the parlor, I had the artist touch up the sting ray on my back. The foot wasn't bad - I thought it would be rough, but there was actually only one tender spot (and boy was it tender!!!!) but my back hurt like a bitch! The first time I got it done, it wasn't as bad, but this time, because I had a bit of scar tissue from the work done before (not visible to the eye, but reactive to the ink), I thought I was going to pass out. Honestly, as one point, I started seeing dots and white halos, because the pain was so strong. Holy crap.... The artist was great though and was patient and understanding. He kept apologizing for how painful it was, but explained about the scar tissue. He was as gentle as possible and was really quite good with me.

Anyway, I digress....I wanted to get this particular tattoo to symbolize a good luck charm for my future. Since I lost my position within the company on Monday (not my job, just my position - see previous post) and my future is a bit less clear to me, I felt that there was no time like the present!

I love it!!!!!! It's beautiful and perfect and everything I had hoped for!

I've taken a couple pictures, but it's really fresh (only a couple of hours old) and quite puffy, so I'll post them when they look better. But trust me, they're awesome!!

Isn't it ironic...don't you think?

So, it's funny how things happen. I graduated from UCF not much more than a month and a half ago, nine years after beginning my college career. My marketing degree quickly proved useful as I was handpicked for a promotion into the Disney Sales & Marketing representative for the company. Three weeks into my role, and after beginning to pick up momentum (as well as being complemented by my three most immediate bosses), I have learned some news that significantly effects my career: In an ironic twist of fate, I have lost my job today.

Well, let me rephrase - my position has been eliminated, and I have/will be reassigned. But I digress.... As our company has been going through changes, many positions have been shifted and changed. However, there has been a huge push for Sales and Marketing. In the goals for fiscal year 07, growing local market and hitting sales targets were amongst the top initiatives.... so believe my surprise when we all found out today that as of September 1st, our services as Senior Customer Consultants (Sales Managers) will no longer be needed.

The good news is that I have not lost my job entirely - I will still have an opportunity to be employed by the company, in one of the following three positions: Senior Project Coordinator, Senior Retail Specialist, or Account Executive. Senior Project Coordinator is a glorified Project Manager, more or less overseeing the Production team and the projects that are in house. Not my cup of tea. Senior Retail Specialist is a glorified greeter, and I would be standing in self service, assisting our customers that walk into the branch. Also not my cup of tea. But the Account Executive position - definitely more my speed.

Here's the thing about the Account Executive position - it's working for the Sales department (not Marketing) and is the beginning stages of taking me down a path that I am desperately trying to avoid - Sales (10 years is enough already!). However, Sales makes for a fairly easy transistion into Marketing, and could be the incentive I need to move into a role I desire.

I don't mean to be cocky, but I'm almost guaranteed the position of Account Executive, barring any surprises (along the lines of eliminating positions - i.e. our company is full of surprises). I've been told I have a spot in sales by the current boss of the department, have been told by my District Manager that I'm the best SCC they have, and have a proven track record in all aspects of the areas they want this person to excel in. The bad though, is that out of the 600+ SCC's being laid off, there are only 130 Account Executive positions being opened and no guarantee as to which geographic areas they will be opened in.

So, overall, I'm up shit's creek, possibly without a paddle. I will apply for the Account Executive position (keep your fingers crossed for me), and hope for the best, but will also try to brace myself for the worst. Part of me is pissed that they have allowed for me to make these goals and changes, knowing that my position will be eliminated. I also feel like I've been given false promises from people - but take into account that I'm a bit emotional, as I've been told that my position is gone.

So, isn't it ironic that $20,000 later, 9 years of blood sweat and tears, stress, and the whole nine yards, I end up being in this situation. And here, I thought that my degree was going to help me.

AA Degree from Valencia Community College - $5,000

Bachelor's degree from University of Central Florida - $20,000

Nine years of dreaming to get somewhere due to my degree, only to find out that it has hurt you in the end: Priceless.

Some things money can't buy....for everything else, there's.....